Sunday, January 10, 2010

Austin, Texas Explained by: Jared Hawley

My Homie Jared Hawley went IN on this Post!! He basically sums up Austin, TX in a nut shell!! Peep the breakdown after the jump!

If you move here to ride good BMX spots you are stupid, unless you like trails. What I can say about living here is that it is the easiest city to live in by far because it is OK to be a roach. You can just chill on someones couch for the low price of $50 bucks, the option to clean up, or you find a dumb hoes bed you can sleep in for the fun price of laying the pipe to a muffin topped bird shit white scene chick(a.k.a. hotel bottom of the bucket bitch). If you have lived in any other city and you weren't mommy and daddies charity case(a.k.a. professional student)you can live in Austin with no money, eat good, and get drunk every fucking night with out having to do shit. My roachin' day are over but I'm about to give the game away for free cause I got a job.

#1. Most Important step you need a BMX bike even if you don't ride it.(shit fuck the bull shit you can even have a faggot/fixed gear bike if you don't know now you know.)

#2. You need to have JOKES no body likes a boring roach.

#3. If you ain't staying with a dumb hoe throw your land lord(owner of the coach) some dough or clean up.

#4. Don't complain about your living situation you a roach.

#5. Steal drinks at the bar. ain't nothing wrong with a P.O.D. (previously owned drink)

#6. Be a fucking maniac when you drink everybody loves a good story

#7. You only need about $20 bucks a week depending on the person of course you can find that anywhere.

#8. Act like you are trying to find a job but don't ever get one. a job defeats the purpose of being a roach.

#9. Don't give a fuck about anything.

#10. Learn when its time to bounce.

With those easy steps you can have a blast in this town and not do shit. Roachin is easy if you have the right mindset.

- Your Buddy Jared

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